I hesitated on whether or not to post any words along with these pictures, but it has been such a long road for our little guy that I thought it deserved a small post. Learning how to behave during Church services (loooong and frequent services) can be difficult for little ones! Learning how to get through it can be difficult for parents as well !
We've had both of our children in Church since their 40 day blessing. Glory to God for all things. Sophia made it seem easy. She made me feel like a very competent Christian mother. Everything went just as I had envisioned it when I would try to plan how I would "teach" my children about our worship. When she was younger, she spent a lot of time in my sling or other carriers. She would stay in there most of the service, come out to receive Holy Communion and then sit quietly for the end of the service. I was so calm and thankful. My prayer was not interrupted. My active participation in our Holy services was just as it was before she was born ! I only remember having to leave the Church to go to back when she needed to be nursed or changed. As she got older and spent less time in a carrier...I didn't know what to expect. But I knew what was expected of me, as her mother. She was quiet, never tried to run away, always listened, never brought many "things" to play with and still doesn't know that the Church has a playroom/nursery upstairs. I am very thankful.
When Demetri came along, I have to admit that I felt pretty confident that I would be able to instill in him the same proper behavior that his sister had made look easy ! THIS was not the case. I did things the same. Talked to him the same way about services, treated him the same way when we were there and so on. As all mothers know, each of our children can be very different. He spent quite a bit of time in my sling as well, but as he got bigger he was less and less content there. He just LOVES to go, move, talk, etc. He is not content sitting in a pew for a few hours at a time. It is so hard for him, which I completely understand. So often I hear the comment "Oh, he is nothing like his sister" or "you have your hands full with him huh" or "boys will be boys"!
I admit that I have spent countless hours in the Narthex of our Church. We sit up front and I can't tell you how many times I am walking from the front of the Church, to the back - over and over and over - poor Sophia, tagging along ! I often wonder if all the people standing in the pews along the way are thinking "WHY doesn't she just STAY back there"? I'm sure at some point they have all said that at one point or another. But, with Christ all things are possible ! Through prayer and His Grace, he is slowly learning to be still. Through HIS struggle, I am struggling and learning too. I am so thankful for this opportunity. He is learning to love our Faith and our Church. He can't WAIT to see Father come out of the Royal Doors. He can often be seen pretending to "cense", using a komboskini (prayer rope, pictured above) as his censor. He recognizes certain prayers and hymns that he hears often. He can "chant" Ayios O Theos...well, some of it ! He has come a long way. He still tries to run - but now instead of trying to run away from me, he is trying to run up to the altar. He is either trying to approach the lower level icons on the Iconastasi, or he sees our Priest or his Baba. In my mind, I am happy that his attention is THERE and not somewhere else...so I don't mind running up and getting him a few times.
We still have such a LONG way to go. He does. I do. We all do really. I thought that in the event that any struggling mother visits my space here, I would post my own experience and struggle - hoping that it would serve as hope. I tried to keep it short, particularly since I honestly had no intentions of writing anything when I put these photos on the page. But then I looked at them and thought that he looked like a well-behaved little boy, participating in his own little way during a Church service. I thought that they looked like a mother's brag book, showing off to her family and friends how "good" her son is during the Liturgy. That couldn't be further from the truth and ANYONE from my parish can tell you that these were just lucky snapshots of rare, quiet moments. I really don't have a free or steady hand to reach into my bag and grab the camera as I am chasing him around the church trying to get him to focus on the altar, or shoving a pacifier in his mouth to stop the shout of "NOOOO" mid-scream ! Now THOSE would be some funny and realistic pictures ! Sometimes it is hard to balance what we share here in public view, but sometimes sharing does bring us together. This truly is a part of my own journey.
